• Allgemein

    Breaking through the Shell

    I have been back home now for a few days to reconnect with my family and the beauty of spring in my Pulkautal. My heart feels different, lighter, quicker … we are getting to know each other again. In addition many new challenges are emerging after my life-changing heart surgery. As a result, I often feel simply exhausted in this phase of healing. Often I can´t figure these things out or don´t have the energy to deal with them. Here I remind myself, this is the time when real growth is happening. This means, especially, when no solution seems possible right now. Like an exhausted wet baby bird breaking through…

  • Allgemein

    Spring is Fleeting Beauty

    Today is day # 27 post OP. I totally underestimated how much my heart surgery would change my life. An inherent lack of patience with my step-by-step regeneration and integration of my finely-tuned heart with all levels of my physical, emotional and spiritual self is often bewildering. Do I know myself at all? My heart is commanding me to slow down and I feel transparent like a butterfly that just slid out of its protective cocoon. Too weak to take on the journey last week back home from Innsbruck, I am lucky to stay in Munich with some of the best friends in the world. Their love and patience allow…

  • Allgemein,  Life

    Wholeness and separation

    Waking up yesterday morning from a deep dream state: Feeling like I was coming back from faraway. Very ecstatic and happy, I ask myself, “Am I waking up from my heart surgery? Is it already over? Yes, I thought, it´s good, everything is good. I am reborn and my heart is fixed!“ All the heaviness I have been carrying was gone like a dark cloud passing. Disappointment, alas, I still have some challenges ahead before my operation 27 February. I keep this treasure with me now, recalling joyful gratitude and lightness in my chest. What a present, what a source of strength! One more week before I make my way…